Reason #691258799 I'll Be Burning In Hell...
As a disclaimer before I admit how awful I really am sometimes: I've mentioned before that I'm really quite an asshole at times. So keep your hatemail to yourself. Feel free to keep emailing nice things, but honestly I just delete the mean stuff without a second glance so don't waste your time.OK, now that we got that settled...I was watching the news this morning because that is what I do every morning. And they had a brief story about a double amputee who was about to complete his first triathlon. Which is really, really awesome, right? Seriously, I think it rocks! But my first thought??? "It's not like he's gotta worry about shinsplints and shit, right?!?"
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??? *feel free to alphabetize that list...* It's not often I'm ashamed of myself, but I was pretty mortified this morning. I got over it, though.
I tried to find a picture of the athlete, but you don't wanna know what comes up when you google double amputee pictures. Or double amputees on a bike. Or double amputee athletes. It kind of reminded me of the time Joel and I googled pictures of chickens having sex after somehow discovering that neither of us had ever seen chickens going at it, and then we got a little worried that we might accidentally end up on some kind of illegal beastiality site so we never did get to satisfy our curiosity.
Maybe one day I'll do a post on all the ridiculous crap Joel and I do together. Or I could post those pictures from our dance off...
Anyway, as my kids put it, "One more sleep and BIIIIG holiday for America???" Yup. Happy Thanksgiving my fellow Americans. Everyone else, have a great day!
posted by Jes @ 16:43
11 Comments:
Did you feel really bad when you found out his run times are faster than yours?
Actually, I thought, "He should start a blog. I bet he wouldn't use it just to bitch about a twisted ankle like my jackass brother does."
I laughed at Bum Fights so I'll be in hell with you....i'll bring the Tequila.
if you are an athlete of any sort, isn't no shin splints a good thing?
Ill be right there with you....Maybe we can be in the same torture pitt
Going to Hell and being tortured for sins you are not aware of is certainly my favorite part of Christianity.
Jes, I'm worse. Everytime I see the billboard of the parapalegic son whose dad ran a billion marathons pushing him around, all I can think is...how unfair. His dad has to do double the work! I've woven a small basket that I carry with me everywhere. Because when they finally pull the ground from beneath me, I'll ready for my ride straight to hell! (I suggest a lesson in basket weaving!)
Also, I'll bet his shoes last a lot longer than 500 miles. What? Like they're going to get to old to provide cushioning to his metal feet?
I think you can only go to hell once, so once you're on your way...anything goes...at least the way my logic works.
Well, it's nice to know I'll be in good company!!!
hells bells
see ya there!
and I think i'm leaving my legs up here so get the jokes ready!
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