Let's Play A Game...
I've been a little mopey lately. Fucking sue me. Know what would cheer me up??? A bedtime story. I'm not kidding. It works everytime. I love falling asleep to happy thoughts (get your minds out of the gutter, those aren't the kind of happy thoughts I'm talking about!!). So last night I put alot of energy into trying to convince my buddy Dave to tell me a bedtime story. This is what I got..."Once upon a time far far away in a magical kingdom - GO TO SLEEP!!!" Worst story ever. No plot, zero character development. His second attempt was something about a boy delivering pizzas to a sorority house...I've already seen the movie :)So, we'll use Dave's opening line (minus the rude ending, of course) and you guys can complete it for me so I can finally get some sleep. OK? AND MAKE IT FUCKING CHEERFUL!! With carebears and smurfs and unicorns and shit, got it? Oh, and a princess. With a name that coincidentally rhymes with "Jes." :) :) :)
Once upon a time, far far away in a magical kingdom...
posted by Jes @ 19:58
16 Comments:
..there lived a pretty princess named tess...
There was a princess named "Tes" who had some very magical powers. She didn't have a magic wand, or a magic tiera, no..Tes had a magical labia. Her labia was so magical it could take her to places she never dreamed of going. She could ski the Alpes, free fall out of an airplane, soar down a thrilling rollercoaster (with no hands), the possibilities were endless. One day Princess Tes was out strolling in her garden watching her pink and purple ponies graze when all of a sudden. Her labia started to quiver. She knew what that meant..magic was about to happen. From out of nowhere a short and sexy Asian prince appeared. She sauntered over to him and asked, "Would you like to see my magic labia?". He smiled and licked the gimchi from his teeth and said,"I've never seen a magic labia before I'd love to!". Princess Tes tore off his robes and hers. He was shocked by the beauty of her magical labia. She took them to far away places and they rode camels in Egypt, horses on the shores of Bermuda, Zebras through African deserts. It was truly magical. Once the Princes from other lands heard about Tes and her magical labia, they travelled from far and wide so she could take them on the journey of their lives.
hahaha! when this was finished posting your mom's was there. Guess we were thinking along the same lines!!
Somehow I doubt my mom was thinking of quivering labia...and why does my prince have to be short???
Seriously...think FAIRY TALE...let's try again...from my mom's version...
alright if you want fairies....
There lived a pretty princess named Tes. Tes was longing for the day when he would be a "queen". He wasn't sure how he could ever reach queen status. He wore all the right gowns, the right shoes, carried the right hand bags..but he was missing something..
Seriously I'm not feeling creative at all!! but hopefully someone elses words can lul you to sleep
I fucking love you for trying!!!
OK OK...i must be labia challenged or something because i can't do any cool labia tricks like Shelly. Do they teach that in Seoul? If so, i need to get my labia over there and learn it some new tricks.
Trojan it's a trick they teach us ladies in the Canadian school system :) Jes I love you too! or should I say hate you..either way I mean it from the bottom of my heart!!!
....let's call that magical kingdom Seoul, for kicks. There lived 4 girls, two of which were crazy for K boys. One night they decided to take a trip to a far away land, let's call it Hongdae. In this magical place alcohol was drank until there wasn't any to be served. People danced freely from table top to table top and girls used lines such as "how tall are you, do you wanna wrestle?" as pick up lines and it worked. Wait a minute...this is a true story...sorry, just thinking about this Saturday night.
No wonder my dad won't read my blog anymore...
once upon a time there was a princess named mess.
Shrek I and II.
Where's Mr. Jones when you need him? I bet he would be the perfect fairy tale writer.
Haha, thanks. I just woke up. I need coffee first :)
... the lovely Tes was troubled by her evil brother Frownie. Frownie had tried to take over the kingdom and was jealous because he didn't have a magic labia. He searched all the women of the kingdom to find a magic labia. He tried using his personal probe, which by he way he killed one of the Care Bears with. Tes alarmed by his actions call on his personal knights, the Royal Knights of the Hash House Harriers or as she called them "Hey Wankers!" She sent them on a quest to hunt down and snare the evil Frownie, which was much easier than most believed possible. Although Frownie looked fast and athletic it was only an elabrate costume. Underneath was a feable and weak misfit who survied on a diet of cigars and PBR. The Wankers dumped pounds upon pounds of magic power better know as hash on the head of Frownie then mixed it with the royal beverage...BEER. It soon became a paste and then hardened into a concrete that Frownie could not escape. His evil body was then taken to the royal apartment of Tes and placed at her doorway to discourage any other evil doers from ever probing the labias of any the other lovely maidens in the land....unless they're into that kind of thing and are consenting adults, then rock on!!! Oh, and they all lived happily ever after....THE END
Thanks Centipede. Best story ever!! :)
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