Deeper Shade Of Seoul

I had a point when I started...

Am I the only one on the planet who found the movie King Kong to be damn near life altering? I saw the movie a few weeks ago, and honestly, I've thought about it probably every day since then. It just made me so sad! I practically cried through the whole thing, but managed to keep myself together because it was the first movie I saw with John and I was quite certain he would think I was an utter lunatic (better to let him ease into that thought, eh?). It wasn't the death and destruction that bothered me. I can handle that stuff in movies. I can handle that stuff in real life. The selfishness of Jack Black's character drove me insane, but it didn't exactly cause any epiphanies. Selfishness has always been a quality I've despised, both in myself and others. It's a strange movie to use as an example, and there are probably better examples out there, but in life or in movies it's when people find love but are never able to achieve it, or when they find love but lose it, that just tears me apart.
The idea of leading out the rest of my existence all alone terrifies me - which is ironic since I am a pro at keeping people at arms' length, and my nomadic lifestyle makes it very difficult to sustain any type of relationship, and also makes others assume that I wouldn't want to. It's not that I don't want to - it's that I don't want to settle in order to do so, which is something I see women all around me doing everyday.
I'm not sure what it says about me that something most people see as a great action film with awesome special effects is something I see as a most tragic love story. Can't you see that he was just misunderstood?!? Sigh. I can't believe I identify so strongly with a big ape. Anyway, in re-reading this I'm realizing that it makes absolutely no sense to anyone but me. And even I don't know how I've gotten here...just a bunch of thoughts leading to others leading to others, I guess. It seemed to make so much sense when it was all swirling around in my brain...

Apologies for the emotional vomit. It's really not like me.

posted by Jes @ 05:36