A Survey
I would consider myself to be a very "live and let live" type of person. You're into watching midgets fuck goats? Okay! You hid the bodies where?? Not bad for your second attempt! Hey, who am I to judge? I may not participate, but I won't judge you for it. And really, as long as you're not a racist, a homophobe, a jar of mayonnaise, or Shelly and RL's new coworker from Jersey chances are we'll get along just fine.So I've got this friend. And maybe in the past we've gotten a little *ahem* friendly with each other. And we're hanging out the other night (just hanging out, no friendliness involved, I swear) and he says, "Hey, got any chapstick I can use?" And I say, "No. And even if I did, I wouldn't share it. That's fucking disgusting!"
BIG ARGUMENT ENSUES.
"I've used your chapstick before."
"No you haven't."
"Yes, I have."
"No dude, you haven't."
See where this is going? Now, in all fairness, parts of the night he supposedly used my chapstick are a bit blurry. I wouldn't describe my state of mind or my behavior that night as stellar. But I know I have never, ever in my life been fucked up to the point that I would allow him to borrow my chapstick. I may say something along the lines of, "You can use it, but I don't want it back," but there's no way I allowed him to use it, then took it back and used it myself. And still, he insists this is what happens. There's no way. I'm sure of this for two reasons:
1. Seriously. Chapstick? What are the odds of me actually having chapstick? I'm not saying I don't need it. I run miles outside in the nasty Seoul air. My lips are constantly dry, chapped, sunburned, or a combination of those three. But I never have chapstick, cause I hardly ever use it. It's waxy and tastes bad and it smells...yuck. When I do have it, I lose it within 24 hours anyway. I'll make an exception for Burt's Bees cause I like the tingly feeling and it smells yummy, but I can't find that here and my jackass friends and family don't send me mail anymore. And really, if you walk into a bar and see me and my friends sitting around, trust me, I'm the last one you would think would have any type of beauty product on her.
2. I operate on a very strict NO SHARING TOOTHBRUSHES AND CHAPSTICK rule. I don't take alot of things very seriously, and I've been known to break rules. But that's a rule I stand quite firm on. And here's where my nonjudgemental policy on life completely falls apart. Because if you are the kind of person who would share toothbrushes and/or chapstick, I think you're gross. And not just, "Oh, dude...that's totally not cool" gross. I'm talking "Gag me with a spoon, don't even sit next to me, you're completely vile and I think I'm gonna throw up" gross.
"So, you're saying we could never share a toothbrush?"
"That is, indeed, what I am saying."
"Never?"
"Absolutely never."
"But you've had my (fill in the blank) in your mouth." [note: unless you're my mom reading this, in which case I have never and would never do such a thing.]
"It's not different."
"Yeah, it's totally different. DIFF.ER.ENT."
Clearly, I'm the world's worst arguer. But am I the strange one here? I can't imagine any scenario that would make me say, "Oh, well in that case!! Please, feel free to leave your plaque, tartar, and chewed up food residue on something that I'm going to put in my mouth!! I insist!!" We're travelling together? Bring your own. They're not heavy, they don't take up any room. There's no need to share. You forgot yours? Go get a new one!! They're 2 bucks, for Christ's sake! They're not rare, they're not hard to find, get your own!! You may, under an extreme emergency situation, convince me to share chapstick. I doubt it, but maybe it could happen. But a toothbrush? No way. Never.
Would you ever share your toothbrush and/or chapstick with someone? Seriously, I wanna know. Drop your thoughts into the comment section. If you say yes, I'm going to think you're disgusting. And I'll never invite you to my home, because everytime you go to the bathroom I'll be afraid you're using my toothbrush.
posted by Jes @ 16:24
18 Comments:
Would never let you use my toothbrush, but would very happily let you put that other thing in there ;)
But would you share a toothbrush with ANYONE??? Cause if so, no part of you is goin' anywhere near my mouth!!
How about sharing deodorant?
well, even if you didn't pay much attention to everything i tried to teach you, you remember not to share toothbrushes and chap-stick.
i guess i wasn't a total failure as a mother.
Mom - you did a great job with me and Eben, but Brownie's kind of a loser.
2 out of 3's not so bad, though. And we can blame Brownie on Dad. :)
hey, i think i did a good job with jon too. nobody's in jail or a mental hospital, anyway.
will you answer my e-mails before your father has another cow?
Toothbrush is never shared. The mouth is arguably the "dirtiest" part of your body.
Chapstick on the other hand is questionable. My theory is, if you are willing to kiss the person asking to borrow it, wouldn't you be willing to share chapstick? (And I suppose if you're french kissing that person, maybe toothbrush can even be considered...but still...)
I can't believe you got dirty with him! He's hot.
This post is friggin' gross. I'm gonna go watch a midget fuck a goat to take my mind off it.
You can save weight by cutting your toothbrush in half, a well-known fastpacking trick.
I flat out wouldn't use chapstick unless I was skiing cos I don't like the feeling of all that crap on my lips. However, I wouldn't like to share for fear of cold sores....(don't even know if I could catch them that way).
My wife and I have only shared a tothbrush a coulpe of times, namely when we've decided to crash somewhere at the last minute and they've only had one spare toothbrush (no 24 hour marts here). I'm not as aganist it as you clearly are, but I don't see the point in sharing something so readily available.
Mom - I'll try calling you tonight (Monday morning for you).
Anon - Sharing a toothbrush is always out of the question.
Anon 2 - meh. he's ok. Alright, I'm kidding cause he reads this. He's cool...I'll hook you up! And why are you posting anonymously? Like I don't know who you are!
Don't share toothbrushes.
Now, let's get it on :)
Sharing toothbrushes = blech
Sharing chapstick = yes
don't EVER share chapstick!!
Clean Clam let Hermie use her chapstick on his balls 2 weeks ago and then as a practical joke gave it to @ss Spelunker and Breathless for their chapped lips.
Now you don't know any of these people, but it's still not an attractive concept!
Well
I will rethink my toothbrush sharing ways after this post, but I doubt I'll change. I'm 32 and too old to change.
I once used someone's toothbrush after I puked (I may have drank too much that night...I was younger...I'm much better at coping now). I HATED...and I mean super hated the guy. He was an asshole...a super mega asshole to my friend (he was her boyfriend at the time, and he just treated her so poorly). Beyond asshole really. Soooo...knowing he was totally neurotic about his toothbrush, after I threw up, I took it out and brushed my teeth with it. Then I made sure it was 100% dry, and put it back in the box...in the medicine cabinet...in exactly the same orientation as it had been (he would've noticed otherwise).
It's one of my prouder moments. I never told him, but I enjoy the thought of it...to this day.
LNDT - I wouldn't share with anyone, but if I had to there's no way it would be with a hasher!!!!
I would never share a toothbrush. Probably not chapstick either. When I lived alone, I always had spare toothbrushes in the event that a guest would come over. Then I never had to worry about my toothbrush being defiled.
LNDT, I don't think I'm going to share chapstick with hashers from now on
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